How to deal with memories and the past? (10.04.2014)

No matter how beautiful or awful the past was, the fact is that it is dead now. Every time you spend some time thinking on the past, you are not actually HERE. This is the reason, why living in the past is not right, is not for real. Even if these are good memories, they are a phantom.

Helena in 1999
aastal 99

These minutes, hours, you are lost for us. And there will be blanks, like blackouts in the REAL.With this inadequate information, you are not in the position to make wise decisions ‚Äď the ones you wish you could make. THIS is for real!

The memories that keep coming back to you, happen because you were not THERE while the events were rolling out. Most likely you were occupied by different stories, ideas and memories (the recordings of the past) even then – that ¬†did not represent the ¬†actual events. So the blanks were left in and you did something / didn’t do something because of the limited or missing information.

Do you see where I am aiming? See the repeating pattern?

Every time, when you choose to direct your awareness towards the past instead of the REAL, you are instantly a step behind. When you are busy with going through your memories, the REAL will keep on rolling. But if you are never HERE, being occupied by the past? What will that result in?

You miss the best moments of your life

¬†Are you coming back? When are you going to come? See, you cannot act in the past, it is dead. You can’t fix anything that is in the past. Only the action that you do NOW counts – like writing a chronicle. You can only do but new deeds – and even these are possible only NOW. These deeds have the power to change the course of your life and this is exactly what is needed -


¬†A quote from one of the most masterful teachers of awareness, Ingvar Villido ( “Because life is through-and-through practical, we are active 24 /7″

NB! Action is everything that requires time (including thinking, remembering etc).


Learn to be HERE for your life, to develop the skills of awareness:

Wishing you beneficial change,



Don’t make a resolution for the new year. Make a resolution for TODAY!



I am having fantastic time here in India – visiting authentic temples, meditating, absorbing the sun and experiences. I started my new year contemplating, looking in. And from this solid space I know that I am ready to share my knowlede on even much wider scale.

The thing is, that….

often new opportunities are

disguised as temporary defeats -

that’s why most people fail

to pay them the attention needed.


You see, you cannot remain un-active. You are always doing SOMETHING – so make it benefitial to others and worthy of your time. Your ideas and passion is a gift to the world, but you have to ACT upon them to turn these ideas into reality.

Answering to the demand to help cross the bridge between spirituality and material life, a series of articles have sprung from “HOW of Life” Institute. They focus on the mindset and belief systems BEHIND being able to make your contribution to humanity (at the same time being paid for what you passionately do!). So get it clear, where you are heading to and do not quit before you have even started! Here is how I have chosen to contribute, so that you can get going:

Check out the january edition of “Sensa” – a magazine for spiritually minded, eco-sensitive, self-caring women. This month’s issue is dedicated to dreams. Read on: what has going after my dreams taught me and how can you fulfill yours?

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Mid january there will be a cloumn on how is the ability to lead your own life connected to becoming aware of the awareness. Read at “√úKS” (Estonia’s no.1 wellbeing and health magazine): “What would you create your life into, if the skills were taught at school?”

For quick inspiration and shifting your beliefs & mindset, I suggest you read:



money story

Lots of love and growth,


becoming masterful

Be the “is-ness” of your Self.

Do not doubt it.

Continue with it.

* The quintessential teaching of Dzogchen



Have you ever wished of being a master in your own life?

  • to know from where does your¬†fear and joy come from
  • develop emotional mastery
  • clear the head, stay focused and clever
  • to be able to enjoy the peacefulness inside
  • understand your motivation and desires
  • be aware of your awareness and Self

To know HOW to live? I know, that I have.

And I am still learning, every day being my teacher

Let me share with you, how I got to where I am today.First, it was just curiosity – how does all of this work? That’s why I joined the medical school and eventually¬†psychiatry. At the same time, everywhere amongst my colleagues I saw us having the same problems like every other person did. Yep, me too! Meaning psychology and psychiatry alone provide no keys to happiness nor solid structure to support at times of hardship and ¬†trouble. I kept on the quest.¬†I turned my eyes towards¬†yoga¬†and the teachings of the¬†siddhas, the realized ones. It was a secret, that I had to hide. Haha, so funny. But true at a time.


So, the science they created, was using themselves as an object of investigation – observing their own minds, urges, emotions and reasons for getting on in life. By now I was not looking for universal ailments how to get out of trouble. Instead I was more interested in HOW to prevent the everyday hardships and even more -

HOW to thrive, not just survive?




I wish to bring out 7 important elements in developing into your masterful self:

  1. First of all, get out of the autopilot and have a look at what is going on in your life. Come out of your own bubble and notice what kind of events, people, emotions, thoughts, desires and resistances do you have? How is your body doing and maybe make some life-style changes.
  2. Always, be honest with yourself, even if things are not going as you would like them to.
  3. Learn about emotional mastery – how not to get hooked up by them and how to be in friendly, jet beneficial relationship with your emotions. Learn some proven techniques how not to instantly react, but rather respond.
  4. Take the science of the mind seriously – it is an education you will need to use every day. It is not just about changing your belief systems, but by operating at a causal level, it forms the infrastructure of how your life will unfold.
  5. Learn to distinguish between the virtual reality proposed by the mind and the physical reality.
  6. Make the effort to become aware of the awareness itself. Your everyday tool (gone un-noticed) to make contact with your thoughts, emotions and via the 5 senses, with all of the perceptive world. It holds the secret to what will become your one reality from the endless sea possibilities. It leads you to using your intuition as you find it beneficial and not just depending on chance or circumstances.
  7. For self-mastery, there must be the Self. This Self must be located, all your doubts cleared. Find a way to experience (not read, or learn – this is theoretical) this stable core. It is not as mystical, if you (or your teacher) know(s) what you are looking for and the exact steps how to get there. Like in science. It will ground you forever and even in the unlucky turn of events of losing touch with the ground, you will know where the shoreline is.

I found my answers by combining knowledge and EXPERIENCE from different fields. I do recommend you to look around and see, what speaks to you.

But I also recommend to make a choice at one point – to stick with one worldview, learn it’s structure. Otherwise you can get very confused in the terminology and principles. Even worse, when you start consuming spiritual teachings like fast food – shopping around and comparing your finds with friends. Becoming a self-development junkie.

Keep a healthy balance, inside and out.